So, this is my first time ever blogging. I’m not sure how to start or how this is supposed to go, so bare with me.
Today is just an average day so far. December is a terrible time of year for the gaming industry. Like TERRIBLE. We go from making $200+ a night, to $40 a night. It’s fucking awful. And insanely depressing; everyone starts to second guess their life choices and starts to fantasize about a completely different world in which they are rich and happy. But then NYE comes around and all of us dealers are back to swimming in money and blowing it as fast as we make it.
So, today I woke up around 2pm, and had to literally peel myself out of bed. If it wasn’t for my fiancé, I would have stayed in bed for another two hours before rushing out of the house to get to work in time. I left a bit early today because it’s PAYDAY MOTHER FUCKERS!!!! And the thing about working for our agency is they don’t do direct deposit, so they can hold your paycheck hostage and force you to meet with HR every fucking two weeks. Sometimes, they just judgementally ask how your life is going, or bring out *updated policies* to sign that has so much fine print that you could literally be signing to buy them a house and never know it. Other times they bust out a scale and do weight check on you to make sure you’re sill within 3% of your hired body weight. Thank God that hasn’t happened in awhile, but it’s like playing Russian roulette. It’s just a matter of time. After the holidays it’s going to be all about salads, smoothies, laxatives, water pills and anything else I can get my hands on. Stop judging. It’s Vegas. How else did you think they get every single girl to look like they do?
But, on a positive note, our agency does treat us VERY well as long as your willing to WORK. For example, over the last 5 years, they have given me contracts to work for NINE casinos. I’ve worked at The Stratosphere, The Downtown Grand, Vegas Club, Bellagio, Rio, Hard Rock, Silverton, The Plaza, and I worked as a Hooters Girl. CRAZY HUH??? I feel absolutely like one of the luckiest of girls to have had such amazing opportunities. I’ve worked with the greatest dealers and pit bosses in the world and soaked up all the information and experience my brain could possibly handle. It’s not every day you get to be surrounded by legends.
So back to today:
Woke up, spent time with my man, got dolled up and ready for showtime (I am a dealertainer after all), and headed out to the agency to pick up this week’s check. I BARELY made it, like, they close at 5:00 and I came running in like a hot mess at 4:57. Luckily, no surprises today! Just a check and a “Merry Christmas”. #Winning.
Now, it’s time to get to the casino...
almost fashionably late for the second time in one day, I run through the hallways to get to the back of the house into the ladies dressing room. Whatever you have pictured as a ladies dressing room in Vegas, you probably have it right. Topless girls walking around like it’s no big deal, girls helping other girls adjust their boobs to look perfect in their costume, other girls showing off their newest botox or medical enhancements, a few girls are comparing their boobs while one is deciding if she should get nipple piercings by touching and feeling the already pierced nipples. Hair sprays and curling irons are being shared. There’s always one girl that forgot at least one part of her costume, so we all dig in our duffles to find anything to help regardless of size. Usually we’re searching for a spare pair of tights or booty shorts. In this dire situation, no body cares if they’re clean, we have to get out there in just a few minutes and be ready to entertain! The dressing room has a very particular smell which consists of a combination of sweaty leather from our boots, hair sprays, lotions, and WAY TOO MUCH PERFUME. There is endless girl talk, shit talk, laughing and sometimes crying. When your getting ready, you’re easily involved in four conversations at once, and you better not forget something important because that could lead to a massive misunderstanding turning into a war. And let me tell you, a war amongst Vegas Women, might be just as detrimental as a military war. It’s just better to avoid it at all costs. Pretend to be interested to all of this chatter, because there will be a pop quiz by the end of the night. SOMEONE is going to pick up where the story left off and to ask for advice about “what we were talking about when we were getting ready”, usually their newest bae and you better fucking know what she’s talking about.
So tonight, I was rushing (you’ll come to notice I do that a lot) to squish everything back in my duffle and shove it into a locker the size of a shoe box. Shove, shove, shove, push the duffle together like fluffing a pillow, and try again, BOOM! We’re in! Now, let’s lock and ... oh my fucking .... OUCH!!! Just sliced my hand open on a rusty locker that had been there since literally 1977. If I had time, I would have considered a tetanus shot, but I didn’t. I am more concerned about how to stop the bleeding in a matter of minutes unless I want to turn my entire blackjack table into a biohazard. The obvious choice would be to ask security for a few bandaids. But, something you should know, in the Casino business, if you need medical treatment of any kind, including a fucking bandaid, they drug test you. And I’ll be really fucking honest, there’s no way in hell I’ll be taking one of those. So, next idea, super glue!!! Fuck me. I took that out of my bag yesterday for an at home nail emergency. Plan C. Clear nail polish. Before you even ask, no, none of the other girls have bandaids either because we’re too irresponsible for that. We have our priorities and they are with the eye lash glue, red lip stick and glitter. So back to the nail polish: one....two....three! MOTHERFUCKERSONOFABITCH OMG KILL ME!! Breathe, breathe, breathe, okay. We’re good. Pains gone. Bleeding stopped. Time to pull it together and it’s showtime baby!
We usually walk to our pit in a heard more or less. And you guys (guests) always stare at us with confusion, aw, or sometimes disgust. Yes, our butt cheeks are hanging out and our boobs are pushed up to our chin, but really. You’re in Vegas, what did you expect? YOU guys are the ones that are the animals at the zoo! That girl is blacked out walking barefoot, holding her heels and whining for someone to find her a drink and that guy over there, yeah, he’s been here for a week and hasn’t changed his clothes once!
This is all I have time for tonight, but tomorrow I’ll be doing posts on my breaks throughout my shift so you can read about everything that happens on the clock.
Have a Sinful night!
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